Candy Chiu's Moments
by TheFightingDragon
Summary: This is a bunch of one-shots of short, funny situations I want to put Candy in. Just a bunch of ideas I know that won't be very long in each chapter, but collided, this'll make up one heck of a collection. Planning to end this fanfic at chapter 10. Rated T for the humor and language.
1. Poisoning Love Trick

Dipper was by himself near the end of the Junk Yard, examining every bug, plant and rock for anything unusual that he can link to the #3 Journal, which he still carries in his vest. He was there for hours on end since early in the morning and now, it's about 2 PM. He started to get tired and a bit hungry, so he decided to go back to the shack to refuel up for the evening. When he turned towards the entrance of the Junk Yard, he jumped in surprise when Candy was standing in his way. She wasn't close to him, but he still feel uncomfortable being anywhere NEAR her, considering about all those awkward times they had together in the past with Candy always trying to get with him. However, he had a feeling that Candy isn't up to anything like that at all when he noticed she was only WALKING to him instead of running and trying to hug him super tight.

"Hey, Dipper! Want to try a drink I made just for you?" she asked him with a simple smile on her face. Dipper wondered how Candy even found him there in the JUNK YARD. It was probably Mabel. She must have told Candy where he went. But, a cold beverage sounds amazing right know, so he couldn't argue as much.

"Sure!" he excepted her drink and quickly drank half the cup, but he stopped because of the flavor. "Hmm... Tastes kinda funny..." he said, looking into the cup, trying to guess what it is. "Really? Tastes fine to me. Here try some more." she pestered him to drink more of it, but he was becoming stubborn.

"No... It still tastes kinda weird. There's not... booze, or anything in there, right?" he asked her, starting to panic while giving her a serious look in the eye. "I didn't put ANY booze in there, Dipper. Try some more. Come on!" she told him like she doesn't care.

"I'm not having any more until you tell me what this is." he angrily asked, taking one step back away from her. Candy knew she couldn't hold the secret from him for long, so ends up telling him what it was, but she avoid eye-contact while saying so. "Coca-Cola, Red Bull, Viagra and Lemon Juice... mostly Viagra..." she sound a little guilty near the end. All that Dipper could show was a shocked expression. He wide-eyed his drink, looks at his shorts, then looked at Candy. Things just went silent for a bit, neither of them have moved from their spots.

Finally, Dipper broke the silence. "Say, you're looking pretty fine there, Candy..." he said plainly, like as if nothing had happened. "Really?" she asked with concern. In her mind, she was thinking, "Success!"

**Author's Notes****: _ Like what I said in the description of the "Candy Chiu's Moments" title, this is a bunch of one-shots, so most of these are not meant to be continued. This is all for sh*ts and giggles. More one-shots on the way!_**


	2. Not Scary Enough

It's very late at night around 2 in the morning and Candy was sleeping peacefully in her bed, having wonderful dreams of rainbows, magic posters and flowers, but they sort of switched from there to there when some of those dreamy images have Dipper in them. She continued to shift a bit in her warm bed when suddenly, there was a slight bumpy sound that came from downstairs in the Living Room. After that, a lot of quiet whistling wind was heard from the stairway towards the upstairs hallway. Hearing the noise in her sleep, Candy shifted some more and placed her whole face downwards on her pillow. Shortly after, she started mumbling in her sleep.

"Mmm... Oh, Dipper... You're so smart... Zzzzz... Yes... I would like to play some games with you... Zzzzz..." she snored. Then, a light is glowing stronger by the second at the center of her bedroom door. A deformed ghost boy floated through the door and levitated his way closer to Candy's bed. "Boo..." he said quite eerie. "Mmm... Yeah... Games..." she continues snoring. The ghost boy just scratched his head a bit, wondered why he didn't wake her up, so he put a little more effort into it. "BOO!" he shouted.

This jolted her out of her sleep, but she has no idea what happened. She quickly tried to find her glasses by the small table next to her and adjusted them. "What th... What the hell? What the hell are you?" she asked the ghost, which was quite obvious. Now that the ghost finally got her attention, he tried to remember what was he doing exactly and said his usual routine lines.

"I am a scary ghost! I will haunt you... Scarily... Like... Yeah..." he fumbled on his words close to the end and was a bit embarrassed that he screwed up another haunting 'cause he did this sort of thing before at other houses. Candy simply gave almost no expression. Just her hair super messy, a small frown and half-lidded droopy eyes, staring at him.

"Oh, come on. That's the best you can do? I've got dirty laundry scarier than that." she said with her hands on her waist, sitting upright on the bed now. "Yeah, it needs work." said the ghost, twiddling his fingers to let the awkwardness pass. This went on for a few more seconds and out of nowhere, he attempts to try again. "BOO!" he shouted. Candy wasn't buying it.

"Yeah... I heard you the first time. I'm not scared. At all." she yawned, not caring at all. All that she wants right now is rest and this ghost is keeping her away from that. "Then, screw it. Is it okay if I watch TV, then?" the ghost asked her. "Whatever. Just leave me alone." she yawned some more and went back to her blankets, trying to close her eyes. The ghost left her room and went downstairs. Things went silent for about a minute or so... Until the ghost came back to ask another question.

"Hey, you've got "Mysteries &amp; Legends" on DVD. Can I watch it? I heard it was really good." he asked her and Candy shifted her face towards the ghost with her eyes still closed, getting a little more cranky that she's not getting her sleep. "Fine! Just leave me alone!" she growled. This diffidently sent the type of message that he pushed things too far and doesn't want another human being to scowl at him. The ghost left again for a bit longer than three minutes and Candy was starting to drift off into a deep sleep.

But, it was suddenly broken when the ghost came back once again with only his head passing through her door and he asked in a quieter tone, trying not to upset her, "Hey, how do you work your DVD Player?" She got out of her blankets really fast, pointed at the door and yelled, "LEAVE!"

**Author's Notes****: _ Again, it's been a while since I've made more chapters, but I'll NEVER forget them. Sorry if I've been a disappointment to you guys. Remember, that all of these are one-shots, so about every chapter in "Candy Chiu's Moments" are different stories from one another. Another chapter coming soon!_**


	3. I'm Not An Idiot

Candy and Dipper were walking down a couple of some creepy stairs in an old building that they were curiously exploring, trying to solve another mystery from the #3 Journal. Candy wanted to know a little bit more about Dipper by being in his shoes for a bit, knowing what it's like to view things in his perspective. As for Dipper, he didn't pay no mind for her presence. The main reason why Candy is with him is because of Mable. Mable always like to watch love grow and she thinks Candy and Dipper would make a cute couple, so she puts the two of them together alone for this mission. However, he doesn't approve. Anyways, they both were about to reach the bottom level of the building, but Candy went a little further ahead than Dipper.

"Come on, Dipper! Hurry! If we followed that demon's directions right, we should be at..." she slowed down when she reached the bottom of the stairs. "... A dirty bathroom..." she finished, a little disappointed about where they are at the moment. Dipper was almost out of breath when he caught up to her (MAN, is he out of shape). "Great." he just plainly said, swiping off a little sweat and readjusting his hat.

Candy then just looked around the room, seeing if she can find any clues until Dipper spoke up. "Look, you go amuse yourself, I'll try to figure out where we went wrong." he asked her while he got his #3 Journal from his vest. "Okay." she agreed easily, giving a smile that made him MORE uncomfortable. Trying to ignore the awkward moment he recently experienced, he focused more on the matter at hand.

"Let's see... We went past the burning graves... Took a left..." he said to himself. Candy wanted to get more attention from Dipper by yelling out stuff. "Hey, towels!" she shouted, but that still didn't work.

"Took a left... A left... I see..." he continued, looking through a map as well as his Journal. She started to get irritated for not getting ANY attention from him, so she wanted to make something up that has to do with this situation: faking an idea, but she REALLY needs to act it out to sell it. "Say... That's it!" she said, snapping her fingers while saying it. Dipper finally looked away from his research and asked her, "What's it?" This was a tough one for her, but she managed to wiggle her way out of it.

"The mirrors, my good Dippy, THE MIRRORS!" she squealed. Hearing the word 'Dippy' from her mouth sent a weird vibe down his spine, but he ignored that too. "What?" he pestered her for some specific information about it. "THAT'S how we get to The Land Of Dreams! Through these mirrors!" she cheered, pointing at the closest mirrors to themselves.

Dipper just stared at her for a bit, folded up his map, puts it in his pocket, closed the Journal, puts it in his vest and stood up to tell her what he thinks. "Amazing... You HAVE to be retarded. No one can be that drunk. No one..." he said with no angry expressions. Candy just gave him a grumpy look, but she went on.

"Observe!" she shouted, posing herself in the sprinting position. Then, with full force, she smashed her whole body onto the mirror, but it didn't break and she fell down on the cold, hard floor. "Okay... Maybe not the mirrors..." she said, dusting herself off and tried to stand up, but her legs become more wobbly after the previous impact against the mirror. Dipper then decided to step in. "Candy, I solved the problem: It's-" he started to say when Candy interrupted him.

"The toilet! Sweet gravy, of course! It's too obvious!" she blurted, rushing towards one. "Candy..." Dipper started saying while she continued doing her own thing. "Watch out, The Land Of Dreams! Here comes Candy Chiu!" she yelled while trying to flush her way down. For one, the bowl was clean (for the most part) and two, we all know that with the laws of physics, it's practically impossible for a human being to accomplish this. "GET OVER HERE!" he screamed, trying to pull her out of it. He then wanted to test Candy on a tiny experiment before they continued their business about WHY they are there in the first place, which is trying to find the doorway that leads to The Land Of Dreams.

"Raise your left hand." he asked, raising his own left hand to demonstrate. "Like this? See? My left? Like you wanted? Left, left, left..." she said, raising and waving her RIGHT hand, thinking it was her left, but she only did it because she mimicked Dipper face-to-face like a mirror.

Dipper went silent on her again for a bit, only because he was disappointed about the results. "You're an idiot, Candy." he said, straight-forwardly. Candy placed her right hand back to the side of her body, looks at Dipper with an eyebrow raised and asked, "Why?"

**Author's Notes****: _ I just have to say on this- Wow... I continued adding more chapters to this. I already got a crap-load of views on this and that made me start brainstorming another idea for a chapter. All reviews are acceptable. I would like to hear more from you guys because you are awesome. More chapters are coming!_**


	4. Getting Some Plastic Fake

Dipper and Mabel were shopping some gifts that they want to get for their friends and family in town. It was a bit difficult to decide on what they wanted to get, considering on what the town has to offer. It was mostly Mabel's idea. She wanted to do this sweet thing while Dipper didn't really have a choice. He thinks it's also nice, but he thinks it's hard... financially. With Dipper carrying the stuff they got, Mabel was close to him, holding a list of names. Dipper stopped to rest a bit and so did Mabel.

"Whew! Alright, Mabel. Who all is left on our To-Do-List?" Dipper asked his twin sister, trying to relax. Mabel chewed on the end of the pencil a little and answered back. "Just Grunkle Stan and Candy, I think." she said, narrowing her eyes on the list even more to be sure. Both of them were REALLY trying hard to think on what to get for the last two people on their list. Dipper was also keeping his eye on their things during the meantime.

"Ah, Grunkle Stan... What does one get for an old grump who isn't happy with anything?" he thought. Mabel, on the other hand, was full of ideas, but not sure what would be the perfect gift for Stan. Then, she thought of something extremely simple.

"Well, we could get him a gift certificate for the Pawn Shop here." she told him, which he thinks is okay, but maybe not. "I don't think he'd like that..." he said, scratching his chin and sat down. "Me neither, but he DOES love to complain! And we both know he'd complain about this for YEARS to come!" Mabel smiled with glee, 'fun-poking' her brother's face. He was just happy that they resolved another issue. He grabbed the list from Mabel's hand, grabbed the pencil from Mabel's OTHER hand and checked Grunkle Stan off the list saying, "Sold!" He chuckled a bit after he was done with the list. Mabel took the list back and stood up.

"Awesome! Now, what about What's-Her-Name?" she asked rhetorically, already knowing who she's talking about, but only did it to test Dipper. "Who?" he asked her as he picked up the gifts again. "You know... Candy!" she squealed, lifting one leg and arms up. She continued to tease Dipper by mentioning Candy around him, still thinking it's really cute. Dipper just remembered about her and came back with an easy answer.

"Oh, HER. Thankfully, she already told me what she wants. More specifically, from me." he said, angling the bag of gifts near his right shoulder. "And what's that?" she asked him with deep curiosity.

"She wants me to give her a pearl necklace! And that's easy! We'll just get her some plastic, fake ones and..." he said, but stopped because Mabel placed her hand over his chest. She knew what it was, so she whispered it to Dipper's ear. "Wha..." he mumbled. She continued to whisper in his ear. Dipper, then, just jolted back a bit. "OH, GROSS!" he yelled, covering his face. Mabel blushed a bit and patted Dipper on the back saying, "Yeah, I don't think you can give her a 'fake' unless the lights are off."

**Author's Notes****: _ Well, Candy really isn't... physically there, but she was involved. I hope that counts for something. Anyways, leave a review if you can. Thanks for your patience, for reading this chapter and there will be more chapters on the way._**


	5. Getting Violated

Robbie was walking down the town streets, looking for more ways to pass the time. He was really bored and almost wanted to go back home. Then he remembered: he could spend the rest of the day with his new girlfriend, Tambry. He pulled out his phone from his hoodie pocket and dialed her number. But then, it says that the phone number is not connected right now. "That's not right..." he said to himself worriedly. Everyone knows she's ALWAYS on her phone 24/7. Maybe her phone died? She switched numbers? Most likely not. Robbie ignored it and puts his phone back in his pocket. After walking down a couple of blocks, he wondered off into an alley and he saw a bunch of trash cans.

"Sweet! Now, I can kick this stuff around and let it be somebody else's problem." he said with a smile. He started to kick the trash cans over themselves, all over the alley, not caring if he got caught or not. Soon, after all the trash cans were tipped over and dented, he wanted to cause more chaos by grabbing trash bags and smashing them really hard against the walls of the alley. He knew after taking a simple walk, he might pass across something to entertain himself with. A few minutes later, he saw an odd dirty-green colored bag at the corner of the dumpster. He reached out and grabbed it, but only heard a load scream.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MISTER?!" Candy screamed with boiling rage, quickly turning to him while she's holding her skirt down. As it turns out, Candy was in that alley an hour earlier than Robbie, for she was looking for more materials to collect whenever she has free time. She found a lot of interesting stuff near the back of the dumpster, so she bent down, crawled past the trash a bit and only her rear end covered by her skirt was showing. Her skirt was a "dirty-green" color, so Robbie just thought it was just a normal trash bag, but now, he only felt guilty and embarrassed.

"Oh, sorry! I thought you were a trash bag!" he pleaded, keeping his hands up to prove everything's cool... but it's not working. Candy didn't feel safe at all for a second.

"Officer! OFFICER!" she yelled REALLY loudly, enough for the entire town to hear. Robbie's actually becoming more scared by the second, over-predicting about the consequences that may come after. "Whoa, hey! I said I was sorry!" he begged again. He knew it would be wrong if he just left, but he couldn't help it. He jolted out of the alley, only to be caught by Sheriff Blubs by the last second on his right arm.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Blubs asked both the teenaged boy and the little Korean girl. "He grabbed me! From behind!" she scowled, pointing at Robbie and giving him a "pissed-off" look. At this point, Robbie begun blabbering until the Sheriff cut him off.

"WHAT?! Why, that's the lowest thing I've ever heard! You're coming with me back to the office, young man!" Sheriff Blubs said gruffly, cuffing Robbie and dragging him to the squad car. "What?! No! I didn't do it on purpose! I was wreaking the alley, not smuggling her, man!" Robbie stammered. Candy was blushing slightly, trying to hold her skirt down and yelled, "PERVERT!"

**Author's Notes: _ It's about time I used Robbie and Sheriff Blubs (it's a first for Sheriff Blubs). I've decided to stop this fanfic, "Candy Chiu's Moments" at Chapter 10, to save ourselves from the randomness that is about Candy Chiu of course. Also, I'm starting to get sick of keeping up with posting many chapters in one fanfic. Anyways, more is coming soon and thanks SO MUCH for reading! Please, "review" me!_**


	6. No One Cares

Candy was crying her eyes out, blabbering about something that happened recently and The Robot Devil was sitting behind the grocery store counter, plainly listening to her whining because he has nothing else to do. "And then... After throwing dirt on my new dress, Dipper said he would rather be fed to a rabid wolverine high on 'Angel Dust' than go to the movies with me!" she said like it was the most horrible news she's ever heard. However, in actuality, she sorta exaggerated the true story. What REALLY happened is that Candy DID asked Dipper to go to the movies together, but he was nervous about the idea of having to be in the same room with her in the dark. She went by herself and waited for Dipper right outside the movies' entrance, but he chickened out.

This shows that he doesn't care anymore, at least that's what Candy thinks. "That's a sad story. I hate hearing about days like that." The Robot Devil said in a low, boring tone. Frankly, he didn't want to see her like this too. Candy continued to sniffle and wiped her tears with her long-sleeve, green-stripped t-shirt. "Fortunately, I have a simple piece of advice for people with problems like that." he sighed, starting to get himself up from behind the counter. "Really? What is it?" she said, still trying to fight off the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. The Robot Devil crossed his arms, stood back a bit and said, "Quit telling me about your days."

**Author's Notes****: _ Hey, just posted a new chapter! In case if some of you who don't know who The Robot Devil is, he is a character from a Adult Swim cartoon show called Futurama. I liked doing crossover fanfics, so I wanted to turn things around a bit. Sorry that this chapter isn't that long. More chapters on the way and thanks for reading!_**


	7. Not My Fault

Pacifica and Dipper were hanging out near some of the Gravity Falls stores at the center of town, enjoying each others conversation topics such as Pacifica's choice of fashion and Dipper's favorite creature from the #3 Journal. What they had was a couple of bags full of many supplies they both got together for different reasons. Suddenly, something else got in the middle of it. What they hear was a little girl's scream. In this town that is Gravity Falls, everyone's used to weird things happening here and Pacifica pay only little mind to it, but Dipper thought that someone's really in trouble. He quickly puts the stuff down gently and was about to take off to see what it was, however, the problem itself was coming to him. What both Dipper and Pacifica saw was Candy, running towards them with her skirt and a bit of her shirt on fire. How did THAT happen, Dipper thought really load in his head.

What happened was that earlier, Candy was using a magnifying glass to inspect a couple of loose and broken car parts in the Junk Yard. Her arm grew tired of holding it and decided to place it on the hood of a car and tried digging around in the dirt to find more stuff, but the magnifying glass was hanging off the hood a bit and it was REALLY sunny, so... yeah, you can pretty much figure out the rest about it. Candy saw Pacifica and Dipper and she screamed, "PACIFICA! DIPPER, HELP! I'M ON FIRE! IT BURNS!" Dipper was freaking out, trying to figure out how to put the fire out quick. Pacifica instantly dug around in her bag of purchased items and found something.

"No problem! I'll put it out with this bottle of 151 Rum my parents wanted me to get!" Pacifica said, giving the bottle to Dipper. He WAS going to question her about it, but there was no time for that at the moment. "Here you go, Candy..." he said, pouring some on her, but the flames got worse and grew more over her clothes. "WHAAA! IT'S NOT WORKING!" Candy screeched at the top of her lungs in pain, rolling around like crazy on the floor (she SHOULD'VE done that in the first place). Dipper felt guilty, but Pacifica wasn't paying any attention. She was looking in the other direction, fixing her boots saying, "Yes it is... Do you want Dipper to put more on?"

**Author's Notes****: _ Hey, everyone! Things just went out of control here, didn't it? I know what you're thinking. Anyways, I'm starting to run out of ideas for randomness and after I'm done with this fanfic, I'm going to be making more complex stories, maybe even a plot story at that. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter. Please, review me._**


	8. Vicious Much?

Candy was sitting next to her two best friends, Grenda and Mabel at Lazy Susan's Diner, drinking some orange juices and the Gravity Falls specialty: Pitz soda. They wear all chatting up a storm, talking about how much they want a boyfriend, despite the way they are and how they look: an odd group. Candy, on the other hand, was getting a bit jealous of Mabel. Why? Even though Mabel still hasn't gotten one yet, at least she DID got some guys to talk to her and hang out with her... even though some of those 'guys' aren't human. What's wrong with me, Candy thought to herself. Am I not... approachable, she kept thinking. Just then, at the edge of her eye, she spotted a familiar figure coming up to the front of the door. A boy wearing a blue and white hat with a small, blue tree on the front of it, a red shirt covered with a black vest, gray shorts and black shoes. Yep, there's no doubt about it; it's Mabel's twin brother, Dipper. That's when all those thought got pushed aside and came back to reality.

"Hey, Dipper! Wanna join us for a drink?" Candy asked kindly, scooting over a seat to leave room for him to sit down next to her. Dipper got nervous, but not for that reason, it was a different feeling. "No, I'd rather not." Dipper said plainly, however, his face says otherwise with his eyes scanning all over the place. Mabel was winking at Dipper saying, "You're not afraid of us, are you, Dipping Sauce?" Dipper knew his sister was teasing him just to make him blush, but that 'other' feeling wasn't because of the girls... or maybe it was.

"For one, Mabel, no. I'm not afraid of you guys. And two, you remembered what happened LAST time us four got together here... Don't you?" he asked, a little more uneasily this time, still looking around the restaurant. "That was all luck, mister, and we all knew that." Grenda said with her eyes closed and her arms crossed. Dipper was STILL unsure if he should stick around, but seeing other customers there made him feel safer.

"Well... Alright... Just one..." he said with a small smile, sitting next to Candy. "If I had a nickle for every time I said THAT..." Candy giggled. As it turned out, the day was actually nice. Every one of those kids enjoyed their conversation... for merely an hour and a half... And throughout that entire time, Dipper had ONLY one, like he said before. "So... Um... Girls... You think we'll have a repeat of what happened LAST time?" he asked, coming back to his nervous feeling again. "For your health's sake, we'd better not." Candy said, placing her hands on his shoulders, trying to relax him. It was helping a little. Then suddenly, without anybody noticing, a weird wood-like creature came out from under the wood floors of the restaurant like a ghost and slowly started sneaking up behind the group.

"Aw... Come on. First time around, it always hurts... like losing your virginity... At least that's what I heard..." Mabel said, blushing more and so did the rest of the girls. Dipper was confused and was about to ask another question until something else interrupted him. "I SURVIVED, YOU LITTLE PINE-TREE PUNK!" the creature from behind them yelled, biting on Dipper's neck. The bite wasn't strong enough to penetrate his skin, but it still hurts.

"OH, GOD!" he shrieked, wailing around like a fish, trying to get away from the creature, but it was no use. This sort of stuff happens in this town ALL the time, so everyone else thought it was your 'typical-everyday' kind of thing around here. The creature started to drag Dipper outside by his neck growling, "I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A PULP FOR TRYING TO BANISH ME IN THE CANYONS!" "PLEASE GOD, NO! IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!" Dipper screamed really loud from outside, which it now sounds like it's turning into a fight instead of being dragged away.

All the girls were worried, but they knew that only Dipper knows the creature's weakness, so they 'butt out', but for Candy's concern, Grenda asked loudly, "Is it a lot easier your second time around?"

**Author's Notes: _ I'm just throwing this out there: I make some crossover stories too with Gravity Falls, so if any of you reader out there REALLY like reading my stories, you can click on my screen name, TheFightingDragon and you can see my other fanfics about Candy and other crazy junk. Thanks for checking it out and stay tuned for another chapter, coming soon!_**


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